Useful organisations

Erectile dysfunction help

Erectile dysfunction (ED) or impotence, as it is also known, can be caused by a number of factors.

Receiving a full assessment for erectile dysfunction makes ED treatment easier as the cause of erection problems varies between men, for example it may occur as the first sign of an underlying health problem (such as diabetes) or alternatively may be a side-effect of a medication (such as an antidepressant). Your partner might be able to get semi-aroused or the erection problem might be more serious - but, whatever the degree, help is available.

A doctor is able to help diagnose and treat your partner's condition in a number of ways, for example by giving your partner an overall health check; prescribing suitable treatment or possibly referring your partner to a specialist or sexual therapist.

The emotional causes of sexual dysfunction as well as the emotional effects can make men question their masculinity - by understanding the cause of erectile dysfunction you can better support your partner.

Where can we go for help?

If your partner is affected by erectile dysfunction (ED), there are several sources of help available. The simplest way to get help is for him to ask his
GP. Many men are reluctant to ask for help, usually because of embarrassment, but sometimes because they think that erection problems
are a normal part of ageing.

Erectile dysfunction should not be accepted as inevitable and may be the first symptom of an underlying health problem. Getting advice and having a proper medical assessment may not only improve his erection problem, but may improve his overall health. Encouragement and support from you is important in helping him to overcome this initial reluctance to seek help.

Visiting his GP

GPs are able to provide a thorough assessment of men with ED. If you and your partner are concerned about ED, have your partner make an appointment with his GP to discuss the problem.

It's a good idea for you and your partner to discuss his visit to the GP before it happens. You may wish to help your partner think about what questions he wants answered by his GP. Why not print out our summary sheet of key things your partner should know about ED that may help him in this discussion with his doctor.

When he sees his GP, your partner should come straight to the point and say that he's worried about his erection problem. Men sometimes go to see their GP on another pretext, perhaps talking about another less embarrassing problem before talking about ED. This won’t help him or his GP, who will need plenty of time to talk with him about his problem.

The diagnosis

If his GP only has limited time, perhaps because the surgery is running late, he/she may ask him to make another appointment. He shouldn't feel that they are not interested or don’t want to help him; it takes time to deal with ED and no one will benefit from a rushed discussion.
Some GPs run dedicated clinics for ED and other sexual problems. In this case, they may ask you to make a special appointment in that clinic to discuss the problem.

"There are more than 10 different treatments available for his ED"

His GP will probably ask him questions about his sexual life, your relationship and your partner's general health. These may seem sensitive and very personal issues but he should be confident that his GP will treat him with respect and keep this information strictly confidential. He should not worry that other members of staff in the surgery will know about his problem.

His GP will probably want to check his blood pressure, and examine his penis and testicles. He/she may also want to arrange a blood test, to check his blood sugar, cholesterol and testosterone levels. It might be helpful for your partner to bring a urine sample with him.

Which treatment?

Having completed the assessment, his GP should explain the likely causes of your partner's problem. It is unusual for ED to have a single cause and there are usually a number of factors that might be contributing to its development. Some of these may be physical, some psychological.

"Only 10% of men with erectile dysfunction receive treatment"

A range of treatments is available from the doctor. There are several oral therapies available for ED and a range of other treatments including vacuum pumps, injections and hormones for those who need them. Therefore it is important your partner understands the differences between treatments and what these could mean when he discusses this with his doctor. Only you as a couple will be able to discover which treatment will suit you best. Most doctors will also be able to offer practical advice on how you might regain your sex life. If they feel that important psychological and relationship issues need to be addressed, they may refer you both to a specialist sexual and relationship therapist. If the problem seems more complex, most GPs will refer your partner on to a specialist.

If he doesn’t want to talk to his GP

If he feels unable to speak to his GP about his erection problem, another source of impartial advice is the Sexual Dysfunction Association (SDA). The SDA is a UK charity established to help men and women with sexual problems. You can find details here.

Relate is a national charity offering help to individuals and couples with both general relationship and sexual relationship problems. Their local offices around the country are listed in the telephone directory but you can also find details here.

The British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy maintains a list of therapists around the UK, which can be found on their website here.

You can find further information for your partner in the free ManMatters ED information booklet (or call Freephone 0800 0964348).

There is a wide range of other private and voluntary sector service providers offering help to people with sexual problems but it is probably sensible to get impartial advice from his GP or the SDA before consulting them.